So, it's been a while since I've written anything but I've been super busy with visitors and work. I had the best time with Marian and Chris here, showing them around and getting to pretend like I know a lot about the city was super fun. It was really nice seeing friendly faces of people from home in my new Portland hood. I also got to spend a whole two weeks with Aaron and have a little vacation in Seattle.                              All of it was so amazing but I am ready to get back on track with improving myself. The two weeks Aaron was here were so wonderful it left me feeling so excited for our future. There are so many possibilities to where we will end up pending on grad school acceptance but knowing that we'll be together is the best feeling. However, it still feels forever away so I'm trying very hard to stay positive and focus only on the good things that await. I had my second full therapy session yesterday and I was given the assignment to write down at least 3 good things a day. Most days my anxiety levels are fairly low but occasionally when something unexpected happens I feel very overwhelmed and can't seem to get motivated to do anything. This practice will hopefully help me find the silver lining in things and start to see the good things that are in front of me.    Today was surprisingly warm and sunny so I took advantage fully. I had several errands to run so I hopped on my bike and headed out after my morning yoga and naked juice (which also help immensely with stress and frequent migraines). Somethings that I really love about the northwest are that the trees are so tall and everything is green. It really helps on the gloomy days to still be able to see some color out there. I made my way to a lovely park by the library and some thrift stores I frequent. After wandering a bit I decided to check out a local coffee shop that I've heard good things about in an area I haven't explored yet. So, I sat down enjoyed a raspberry white chocolate muffin and iced coffee, then I wrote my good things for the day. It was very refreshing and luckily my sister sent me an adorable notebook for my birthday which is extra incentive to keep up with my assignment.   Dress Urban Outfitters $10 (black friday), chambray button up shirt H&M $5 (from Goodwill), Shoes Urban Outfitters $8 (black friday). Scarf, crocheted by Renee.

Moving to the northwest, I knew I was going to have to deal with a lot of rain. It has been unseasonably dry though, which I am very thankful for. Those first few rainy days were pretty rough, I really had to push myself to go outside. I love staying in and watching movies but I didn't move across the country to do that. So, on these sunny days I really try to enjoy it to the fullest. Today I went to Laurelhurst Park. It is lovely with a nice big dog park, a lake and plenty of walking paths. I do feel awkward since almost always I am taking these pictures by myself. and Laurelhurst is a particularly busy park, but I don't have a lot of other options so I just suck it up and think about how I will never see these people again...let them stare. Today's outfit was a fall printed red/orange dress with leaves and flowers from Urban Outfitters, the dress is a bit large on me these days, especially on top so I kept it tight with a black sweater over it that I got from Goodwill, the black leather boots and brown leather belt were also thrifted from Goodwill here in Portland, my  cute polka dot socks are from Target, and my scarf is actually Renee's...and she crocheted it herself.  P.s. I stopped at Target today and picked up some Autumn Pear mulling spice for some lovely fall cocktails, and it was 70% off! I'll definitely be trying and blogging that soon.

Today was a big day for me. I took a huge step forward into being the person I want to be. For a long time I've suffered from anxiety/depression and have felt really alone in dealing with it. Throughout  my life I've visited counselors and therapists relating to this and other situations in my life but it was never because I really wanted help. I always went because one of my parents made me, and being the angry, stubborn adolescent that I was, I didn't want anyone else's help.                                                                                                                                                                  My big move to the Northwest was brought on through a realization in myself that I really need to figure out who I am. I felt that putting myself into a new environment and new situations where I would have to fend for myself was really the only way I could truly see what I am capable of. I do have to say that without the support and encouragement from Aaron I could not have done this well. When things were really rough here, while I was trying to find a job he helped me just suck it up and make myself do what needed to be done.                                                                                                                                                                  All that said though, saying you want to change and actually making lasting real changes are on completely different levels. Today, was my first consultation to see if me and the therapist will be a good fit and we both felt good about each other and the goals I have set. I have an appointment next week and am very excited to see what this brings me. Small steps towards big goals is what has been helping me make what I hope are lasting changes towards being a better me.                                                                                                                                                                                                  Today's outfit was a thrifted Banana Republic striped shirt from Goodwill here in Portland, American Apparel circle skirt that I dyed forest green, sheer tights from Walgreen's, thrifted boots from another Goodwill location here, faux leather jacket and black fringe infinity scarf from Forever 21 and thick knitted hat from H&M.

Happy Halloween! I really love dressing up but since I am ultra broke right now and don't know many people in this city yet, I wasn't sure what this year's festivities would include. I actually got to enjoy quite a few fall activities so far. Renee and I went to a pumpkin patch by bus. which was it's own adventure. The food cart pod across from our house had a cider sampling last week that we went to prior to carving our pumpkins while watching Hocus Pocus. We went to a haunted corn maze and it actually wasn't raining that night so it wasn't totally miserable. And now today, Halloween we are going to OMSI After Dark for whatever that entails, because we're not quite sure!                                                                                                                                                                               So, since I actually have plans for tonight I decided to go for the cheapest costume possible which  always includes scrounging through my closet and trying to make something out of nothing. Renee decided on a fox which is her spirit animal so I went with mine which is a bunny. A bunny...NOT a rabbit, and not a sexy bunny. Once I decided upon a costume it was pretty easy to make it happen. I've got a great grey Free People hoodie that I got at Blackberry Exchange years ago that has a white ruffley bib on the front and i paired that with grey and white sweater tights from JC Penney. Felt and a skewer for support made my ears and cotton balls made my tail. Total spent: $1.03.

Sunday's are made for snuggling. However, I opened this morning and it was one of those days where you can't quite get out of bed and then as soon as you're heading out the door you keep forgetting your keys, or gloves or whatever. So I finally head out with 5 layers on because it's 6:30am and raining, of course and I get to work first, open the door then realize I don't have a security code to disable the alarm yet. So, the security company calls the restaurant, confirms I am an employee and I resume opening. Then, the cooks arrive and inform me that I was an hour early to work...That pretty much sums up how today went. Being an hour early to work is bad enough, but getting to work at 6:30 am when you could have gotten there at 7:30 is just a bummer. Working the morning shift does have it's benefits though. I get off work by 3pm with plenty of day"light" left. Considering today's events though, I decided to make my way home and snuggle up. Today's outfit is all kinds of cozy and warm: pink infinity scarf was a gift from Aaron for Christmas last year from his trip to England, knit sweater was thrifted from a Kansas City Salvation Army, black lace dress was thrifted from Jefferson City Goodwill, Thigh High stockings American Apparel (super sale, also gift from Aaron). Now, it's time for thai food leftovers and Freaks and Geeks.                                                  

I really enjoy going around and browsing the local thrift stores. As you can imagine, Portland has some really hip ones but I tend to stick with the Goodwills or Salvation Army's. Since I don't know many people here I am using this as an opportunity to reinvent myself in a sense. I would have never worn a floor legnth skirt in the past because of my short legs and wide hips but after seeing them all over the internet I decided to start slow with a hi-lo number (see below). After searching far and wide I found this pink pleated beauty FOR HALF PRICE (3.99). So, it was a done deal. Love at first fitting.

After living in Columbia for ten years I felt like it was time for me to break out of my comfort zone and really work on myself. Renee moved here last year and after much discussion, moving to Portland seemed like the right thing to do. So, Renee drove back to Sedalia, bought a new car and we packed it with all of my belongings and we road tripped out here together.