Thursday, November 1, 2012

Today was a big day for me. I took a huge step forward into being the person I want to be. For a long time I've suffered from anxiety/depression and have felt really alone in dealing with it. Throughout  my life I've visited counselors and therapists relating to this and other situations in my life but it was never because I really wanted help. I always went because one of my parents made me, and being the angry, stubborn adolescent that I was, I didn't want anyone else's help.                                                                                                                                                                  My big move to the Northwest was brought on through a realization in myself that I really need to figure out who I am. I felt that putting myself into a new environment and new situations where I would have to fend for myself was really the only way I could truly see what I am capable of. I do have to say that without the support and encouragement from Aaron I could not have done this well. When things were really rough here, while I was trying to find a job he helped me just suck it up and make myself do what needed to be done.                                                                                                                                                                  All that said though, saying you want to change and actually making lasting real changes are on completely different levels. Today, was my first consultation to see if me and the therapist will be a good fit and we both felt good about each other and the goals I have set. I have an appointment next week and am very excited to see what this brings me. Small steps towards big goals is what has been helping me make what I hope are lasting changes towards being a better me.                                                                                                                                                                                                  Today's outfit was a thrifted Banana Republic striped shirt from Goodwill here in Portland, American Apparel circle skirt that I dyed forest green, sheer tights from Walgreen's, thrifted boots from another Goodwill location here, faux leather jacket and black fringe infinity scarf from Forever 21 and thick knitted hat from H&M.

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